Mary Batson

       The Night Train

                               Mostly things they would like to forget, mostly stories they try to leave behind in the dark,
                    like lost baggage on some forgotten platform.

           But these thoughts, the blackest ones, these are the ones that resurface,
                                               over and over again, always after dark, always late at night,
                           always when you think you are alone.

   If so, then these are guiltiest of all guilty,
       these are those who condemn themselves for what they've done,
                                                                                       for who they are, for what they will become.
                                                  These are the ones -- the people of the NightTrain.
        They wear this darkness like a protective blanket
                       that muffles the chaos, the confusion, the pain inside.
           There are those who fear the blackness:
                                                           these mournful, lonesome souls revel in it.

       I see these people.
                                                I see them in my dreams.
                                                                                                I see them regularly and often -- for I am one of them.

        The harsh cold lights that prick the darkest shadows within their souls
                            chill my own thoughts, for I, too, have my secrets.
                                Ones I'll never tell, ones I can barely admit even to myself, ones I will take to my grave.
                                                                    But one must learn to get beyond our mistakes,
                                    to find the deeper meanings that lie behind all.
                                                                    And that is my mission -- my personal quest.
                                        I am a Searcher now,  
                                                       and I will not stop until I have found a satisfactory answer.
                                                            Until I do, then, I will continue,
                                                            and the hollow emptiness of the
                                                             Night Train will be my home.